The easiest way to collect wedding RSVPs and meal choices is to keep one guest list with every person on it, ask every household to reply in one place by a clear deadline, and ask for meal choices and allergies in the same reply. Then tick each person off as they answer, so you always know who still needs chasing. Here's how to set that up.
1. Start with a complete guest list
Write down every person you're inviting, not just every household. Group people into households (a couple, a family with children) and note whether each person is invited for the day or just the evening. Children count as people too: your venue will need to know how many children's meals to prepare.
- One line per household, with each person's full name.
- Mark children, so you can count children's meals.
- Mark day guests and evening guests separately.
- Note plus-ones by name once you know them.
2. Ask for everything in one reply
Each household should be able to tell you, in one go:
- Who is coming and who can't make it.
- A starter, main and dessert choice for each day guest, if your venue needs choices in advance.
- Children's meal choices, if your venue offers a children's menu.
- Dietary requirements and allergies, with enough detail for the kitchen.
- Anything else you need, such as song requests or a note for you.
Ask about allergies in their own box, separate from meal choices. "Vegetarian" is a preference; "severe nut allergy" is a safety issue the caterer must know about.
3. Make replying easy
The more effort a reply takes, the later it arrives. Paper reply cards need a pen, a stamp and a trip to the post box, so they're often the last to come back. A reply form people can open from a message on their phone is usually answered within days. With an online RSVP, one guest can reply for their whole household, choose each person's meal and add allergies in under a minute.
4. Keep every reply in one place
Replies arriving by text, email, WhatsApp and in conversation are how names get lost. Pick one place where every reply ends up, and add any verbal replies there yourself straight away. A shared spreadsheet works, and so does a dashboard that collects replies automatically and keeps a running total of each dish.
5. Tick people off and chase the rest
Matching replies against your guest list shows you exactly who hasn't answered. A week before your RSVP deadline, send a gentle reminder to everyone outstanding; after the deadline, a quick personal message usually does it. Almost every couple has a few households to chase. It's normal, and it isn't personal.
6. Give your venue final numbers
Most venues and caterers ask for final numbers and meal choices a few weeks before the wedding. Before you send them, check:
- Totals for each starter, main and dessert, for adults and children separately.
- A list of every dietary requirement and allergy with the guest's name, so it reaches the right plate.
- Day and evening headcounts, for evening food and the bar.
- That the numbers add up: confirmed guests should equal the meals ordered.
Many couples also print a table plan with meal choices marked, which makes service easier on the day. See our UK timeline for when each of these deadlines usually falls.
Doing it all digitally
Open with Love invitations have the reply card built in. Day guests choose their meals, evening guests just confirm, and every reply lands in your private dashboard. Your guest list ticks people off as they reply, the meal totals add up for your venue, and you can download everything as a spreadsheet. Create yours and preview it free.